Well tonight is the eve of my number 1 baby girl's birthday and it is always such a bittersweet thing for me. I feel like the time with those I love is just so precious yet goes by faster than I can comprehend. I know I should not hold tightly to the things of this world but when it comes to those I love I simply can't help it.
Tonight a dear friend and neighbor of mine came over to help me decorate for tomorrows taco birthday dinner and I heard my friend say "good night Mya" and sure enough my sweet little girl was soundly sleeping while wrapped in her fuzzy princess blanket. I continued to busy my mind with decorating but my heart strings were being tugged with every streamer. How did life already pass by so fast? I remember wishing colic away like it was just yesterday but now I have a little girl who is currently growing her first permanent tooth. What a year it has been for my sweet Mya Jean. She became a kindergartener and a big sister in the same week, she learned how to tie her shoes, she lost her first tooth its all flown by so fast. This year has been so different for our family because I have seen a side of my daughter I wouldn't have been able to see if we hadn't decided to change her life by adding to our family. She is so incredibly thoughtful and caring. She loves with a passion that makes my heart melt. And she finds such joy in the smiles and laughter of her baby sister that she will do whatever it takes to get them both to the hiccupps. One day Mya was playing outside and someone had hurt her feelings so she came inside crying (I wasn't home to witness this) and when Mya cries...Ava cries. So Mya told her dad all about what broke her heart and as Mya continued to cry... so did Ava and Mya said "I love you Ava, you are my best friend!" and I just can't get over how sweet it is for her to love her sister like that even from the beginning. She is such a sweet, amazing blessing in our lives, and although I don't necessarily like that she's growing up so quickly I do love the person that she is becoming.
Thank you Lord for blessing my life with Mya. I will never be the same, and for that I am grateful.
Thursday, June 9, 2011
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
This is just the beginning
With the encouragement of a great friend I have decided to start a blog. Who knows how it will turn out or if there will even be anything worth reading but I have decided it's worth at least trying just as a place to air out whatever happens to be on my mind. I'm sure my posts will be all over the place, anywhere from funny to deep to crazy and/or off the wall but thats pretty much who I am in a nutshell.
As I sit here awake writing even though I should be in bed I am lost in thought about so many things I'm not really even sure which topic to tackle first. I guess my first one will have to be the heartache I feel watching so many people I love and care about struggle in life for so many different reasons. Each struggle is personal and I will not reveal too much detail so that way I don't end up "outting" those who I am concerned about but I do have a heart full of burdens for so many. There is just something in my nature that wishes I could take away the struggles or hurt from those I love. I wish I could just fix their situations and make things right because its always easier to know what to do when its not your situation you are looking at. But the obvious truth is that I can't just fix every situation, I actually can't fix any of them. Another hard thing is to know that some of these situations are things that have been caused by the choices of the people they directly effect. And although I certainly don't enjoy to see the outcome of these choices, the truth is that things are the way they are because of things these people could have prevented with a few "easy" choices but like people always say hindsight is 20/20. I don't mean for any of this to come across high and mighty my point is just that I hate the helpless feeling of watching those I care about feel heartache and struggles when I know there is nothing I am able to do to fix it.
As I sit here awake writing even though I should be in bed I am lost in thought about so many things I'm not really even sure which topic to tackle first. I guess my first one will have to be the heartache I feel watching so many people I love and care about struggle in life for so many different reasons. Each struggle is personal and I will not reveal too much detail so that way I don't end up "outting" those who I am concerned about but I do have a heart full of burdens for so many. There is just something in my nature that wishes I could take away the struggles or hurt from those I love. I wish I could just fix their situations and make things right because its always easier to know what to do when its not your situation you are looking at. But the obvious truth is that I can't just fix every situation, I actually can't fix any of them. Another hard thing is to know that some of these situations are things that have been caused by the choices of the people they directly effect. And although I certainly don't enjoy to see the outcome of these choices, the truth is that things are the way they are because of things these people could have prevented with a few "easy" choices but like people always say hindsight is 20/20. I don't mean for any of this to come across high and mighty my point is just that I hate the helpless feeling of watching those I care about feel heartache and struggles when I know there is nothing I am able to do to fix it.
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